His face was grouchy and his eyebrows went
Narrow.
His arms fell on his hips as he asked the dog “Where is my
Shorts?¨
He roared with excitement and said to his dad he couldn't find his socks.
He looked worried so he asked his dad “where are my socks”?
His elbows sank to his stomach and said to dad “are my socks in the laundry?”
We were learning about how to write using Show Don´t Tell. Show don´t tell is when you talk about his voice body and face.
I found it easy to describe other words than mad or vanished
I found it hard to figure out what his voice sounds like.
I really enjoyed writing about the characters actions and what they were saying.
Next time I need to write more about how they are feeling.
Kia or Kaiarahi. Great work here you have used some great adjectives here to explain how he is feeling "grouchy". You have also conveyed his emotion through how he is acting, his eyebrows narrowed, arms fell to his hips. Elbows sank... All these amazing sentences help give the reader a sense of what the character is feeling just through his actions. As a reader I can inference that he is not happy. And I can use this to inference that his voice would be upset too. If you want to add more then I would suggest look at some verbs and adverbs, these can be used to help describe an action and this can help you add more detail. Something like " A long scowl fell across his face" Keep up the great writing!
ReplyDeleteThanks Jacob I really like the way you commented positively and other kinds of stuff I need to work on. When I read your post I learnt more info that I need to put in my blog posts. I like how you comment on other people's blogs and entertain them.
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